Buddy Holly Glasses
When I was in grade school, I was convinced that wearing glasses might be the solution to my reading problem. It was a belief that my teachers reinforced constantly. They had to blame by reading problems on something. There could be no other answer. It certainly had nothing to do with their teaching methods.
Early in my first year of school optometrist came in to check everyone's eyes. It was a good service and I am sure the school got some token rebate from the optometrist for every pair of glasses sold as a result of the access a public school system had provided to him. He had ethics and was on the up and up, though. He told me that my eyes were fine and for the most part that was true. He didn't have time to give every student a thorough examination.
Even after my eyes had been certified 'fine' the teachers insisted on telling me that I might need glasses, that perhaps the test was in error. There could be no other logical reason that they could think of why I was having so many problems reading.
I insisted and persisted with bringing their suggestions home with me from school until my mother relented and took me to Springfield - which was 'the big city' to me - to see an optometrist for a comprehensive eye exam. As a result I learned that I was partially color blind to certain shades of green and gray but that otherwise, except for a slight astigmatism , my eyesight was nearly perfect. He said that in all honesty I probably could go for years without needing glasses but that at some point I might need them to read.
I was in the 8th grade before I actually got a pair of glasses. Just as the optometrist had told me, I did not need to wear them all the time but even so I did. I thought I looked cool and intelligent in them. The irony in all of it is that by the time I actually had glasses to wear I had already taught myself a work around for my dyslexia. (See other posts to this blog.)
Miss Holland, my 8th grade English teacher said that the glasses were 'quite becoming', said that I looked like Buddy Holly (I didn't even know back then who he was).
As time went on my glasses became more and more fashionable than those first black frames. My prescription had changed little over the years and in fact whenever some of my friends tried on my glasses, they could barely tell that there was any magnification in the lenses.
When I entered the Air Force, they of course checked my eyes and issued me black frame glasses which were to be worn at all formations as part of my uniform. Whether I really needed them or not, I was to wear them to all formations. Even when I was at The Defense Language Institute, I had to wear those glasses to official formations.
I had made a passing comment along the way to one of my friends that the plain black frames were perhaps a more effective means of birth control than any drug as there was little chance that any guy wearing such glasses would ever get close enough to a lady...well you get the idea. As we were Chinese linguist students, he immediately asked one of our native speaking instructors how to say birth control in Chinese. The term is
Bie Yun. Since glasses in Chinese is
Yan gingr, he immediately coined the phrase
'bei yun de yan gingr' meaning literally birth control glasses
. Black frame glasses ever after have been
bie yun de yan gingr. There is a variant on that concept that combines the two mental associations for that type of glasses, Buddy Holly B.C.G.'s.
Look for it in an upcoming book.
E
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'Interesting' or Chronically Stupid?
There is a word that I hate whenever it is used to apply to me. So before you even think of telling me that I am 'interesting' beware. There is a very good reason for me not liking that word. I used to think it was a compliment. Everytime that I heard it it was when I was trying to begin a relationship with a lady. At some point I realized that I had never began a relationship with anyone that had ever told me that I was an 'interesting person'.
Well that is until it happened in the last few years. I had to revise my thinking a little. There is only one person that I has my permission to say that I am an 'interesting person'. I know that at least she really means it. Then again we are great friends. In no other case has anyone ever said it to me and a relationship of any kind ever developed.
Whenever someone uses the expression 'interesting person' it is a often a euphemism. It could mean simply that the other person thinks 'you're weird'. Alternatively - and I think this is more applicable in general - it may be that the other person is really saying 'I don't understand what you are trying to say but I am too insecure to admit it to your face for fear that it might embarass me. Obviously you think that I could understand or else you would not be going on about whatever you are talking about.'
Regardless it is used as a brush off. 'You are interesting' means 'get away,' or 'there is absolutely no chance that I will ever enjoy this conversation we are having so lets just cut it off here and accept that we have wasted time trying to make something happen.'
I am not an 'interesting' person. I am not exceptional but certainly I am not average either. If I am being weird say that I am weird! If I am being obtruse, say that. Tell me what you think. If you don't think there is any chance of ever being friends with me then say it!
How many times have you said that you really and truly want a relationship that is based on honesty? If you are sincere then start off by being honest with me. Don't tell me I am 'interesting' when you mean something else. I can take rejection. I am a writer you know; it is in the job description.
Just a warning about honesty; it is a liberating thing but it is also dangerous. I don't think that those who express a desire for honesty in a relationship are really willing to accept the harsh, brutal truth. People want to be nice and not hurt feelings, so we use those white lies.
Well isn't that 'interesting'? No it isn't; actually, it is the truth.
White lies are a social lubricant. I understand that. The problem is that they are little defects in communication, the backrgound noise that masks the truth. It is make-up on the plain truth's face. It makes the truth seem prettier than it is, accentuating certain features of the truth more so than others. Telling white lies leads to other larger defects in communication, in a perpetuating process that eventually produces bold face lies. After that there can be little truth shared at all.
Long ago I stopped almost all of my efforts to impress others. It was a pointless quest anyway. I had burped complete sentences; I had farted the 'Star Spangled Banner' up to the high note (could never seem to hit that one). I had even burped, farted, hiccupped and sneezed at the same time, but just once - oh yeah, and I lost a small amount of ear wax in the process. As impressive as those feats may have been to me and my fraternity brothers, I never once derived any lasting fame from it. In fact I believe I even lost a few friends here and there. Some people are neither easily amused nor readily impressed.
We all know that people are naturally prone to form opinions and whatever opinion they form in the first few minutes is so firmly bonded to their concept of 'you' that there is little point is seeking to change opinions. If you attempt to impress someone in any other way than by just being yourself, you had best be pretty good at pretending to be someone or something that you are not because that is all you will ever be.
My father always told me that everyone gets into their pants the same way. There is a lot of wisdom in that. We are the same in so many ways that any differences that there are between us are superficial, artificial or just contrived. I have always treated everyone that I know the same way, as a potential friend. It is not a bad approach. Maybe that is why I seem to meet good people.
Another reason I know good people is that I am honest with each of them and treat them with respect as an individual. People who know me also know what to expect and when they ask for my opinion or advice they understand that I can be brutally honest. I do not do it to be harmful, only to be a good and faithful friend.
I know that some friends have been lost over the years simply because I would not tell them a white lie when they wanted to hear one. They didn't know what they really wanted me to say. If they didn't know then I certainly did not. I have lost jobs or promotions because I was not willing to tell a little lie (a.k.a kiss the boss' butt). I have been told that it is a character flaw. I think the problem lies elsewhere. Maybe that is denial on my part but I don't profess that I am without fault. I have some really serious problems. The difference between me and those that do not want to be friends with someone like me may be that unlike so many others, I do not lie to myself. I don't base my self image or sense of worth on the carefully chosen words that others express about me.
Call me stupid but if I am stupid then at least you have pointed that out to me. If I am chronically stupid then I may have heard it before and should do something to correct it. Anyway you telling me that I am stupid should come as no great surprise then, should it?
"I have never wanted to belong to a club that would have someone like me as a member."- Groucho Marx
E
Projects
I have been working on the revisions to Book 1. I am really being pretty brutal. It is a good exercise in humility. Even though I still think the original text was very good I have evolved over the intervening years.
I am very interested in the storyline now, like I am reading it with fresh eyes. That is kind of an eerie experience, especially since I know where this is all going. Then, again, the stuff beyond Book 3 is still open season for revisions, right? Really based on a conversation with my publisher that I had tonight, Book 3 may be open to a few minor changes as well. Sorry to disappoint but maybe it will not be out this spring after all. I know, I know I hear everyone of you. Well do you want it fast or want it right?
I really love Book 1 in a way that maybe no one knows. I worked on it for the longest period of time of anything that I have ever attempted to do. I learned how to write something of novel length while fooling around with it. I had done up a novel called Tarot when I was at Purdue but it was not really anything worthy of consideration. I may actually rework that someday who know?
When I had finished it it was just that I had no idea that I had something that would be an 800+ page book. It always intended the storyline to be a single volume. It has been hard enough to sell a single 400+ page book. Can you imagine convincing anyone to read something that is much longer?
Then everything else that has happened to me in the intervening years and the considerable inspiration of the Wolf subplot. Suddenly there were six books. Well suddenly being like over the course of a couple of years.
Yesterday's blog was about emotion and friendship but also materialistic reality. One of you that reads this daily tripe commented that it is not your fault that I am poor...again. I fully understand that it is my fault. Ultimately everything is my fault. I listened to this or that person. I didn't do this or that. I get it, okay? That was not the point I intended at all. Sorry that I didn't communicate, that I didn't make my point all that clear.
If you read other things I have postyed earlier on in this blog you may understand that I am not about making money from what I write. It has been a very good thing so far as I have not made anything yet, so no disappointment. I am an artist. Some other parts of me are more pragmatic but I have a pretty healthy grasp of the writing business and expect this to be a long journey not a quick trip.
Another reader loved the line about the IRS. I have to tell you all that I typed that even before I realized what I said. Sometimes the best lines that you ever produce come to you just like that. Someone I knew in my past called those things that I come up with on the spur of the moment 'elgonisms'. I will so take credit for that one even though I am sure some of my friends will pass it along enough that some comedian will pick it up and think that it was his.
One of you thinks I am in denial about my best friend. Serious I am not. I am very realistic about that. There is a real person ont he end of that so fantasy and bullshit does not enter into it at all. The 'thing' that I have for her is that her incredible mind and the way it works intrigues me and it always has. She is a remarkable individual. I really wish everyone could know her and learn to appreciate what she has to offer. If you like me you would like her a lot more. Why? Because I like her.
I also wish you would all post your comments to the blog so that others could read them some of you are pretty funny.
I have to say that I am beginning to attract a lot of aspriing would-be whatevers. That is kewl. (Kewl is cool pronounced like it is spelled.) As one of them told me we are all in this together. Yes we are. I just hope that everyone remembers everyone that they have in their address book when fame and fortune strikes. I can promise that I will and I am a man of my word. You may say bullshit but I will as it is in my nature and it is part of my being human. Being realistic though I doubt anyone else I know that happens to make it will ever remember to pull me along for the ride. So, I am out there on my own anyway.
I must say that this one blog posting received the most comments. I put it up on the spur of the moment and I have to tell you I am surprised how well it was received. I didn't think it was particularly good. Yes, when I wrote the line about the IRS I knew that would get some laughs. The really sad side of that is how true it is.
Most of the blog entry was written quickly and I admit it is pretty much train of thought style writing. If you were ever seeking insight into how my mind works, there is a sample.
Sometimes I get email from people seeing philosophical insight, words of wisdom or just general encouragement. I feel strange and uncomfortable giving advice. I feel there should always be a caveat at the end of whatever I lend in the way of words of inspiration - I am no better off than you.
I have been successful and I have been a failure. I have been scussessful often enough to know that you do not arrive there without experiencing a lot of failure and trying is not good enough to arrive at any destination except trying again. Despite Ben Franklin's generally wise council, trying again becomes self-perpetuating. Here is the proof, for whatever it is worth.
I did not come up with this on my own. Someone that had happened upon the knowledge demonstrated it to me so I will not take credit. Take your keys, drop them on the floor beside you and TRY to pick them up. One of two things will happy you will continue to try to pick them up never actually doing it or you will FAIL to try by actually DOING a SUCCESSFUL pick up. SO, it is not enough to try, try again.
I know I am playing with sematics but it is for a point and the concept is well worth understanding. Trying alone will never be good enough. You have to have clear goals and a destination in sight or withing grasp. What Ben Franklin was really 'trying' to say was something that Richard Fenton points out in his self-help books. I will not 'try' to state it more succinctly than he does. Failure is a interim step on the way to success. He even goes so far as to state that if you increase the number of negative responses that you receive you automatically increase the likelihood that you will FAIL to receive a 'no'. It is one of those concepts that is intuitively correct but since most of us feel that we are on a continuum between failure and success, it is good that someone comes along and points out that your world view is totally wrong. You are failing because you keep on trying. It is not necessarily a bad thing at all but without a destination or goal you will never succeed.
There are some quality people that I know who are struggling to make it in their own right. I have held back mentioning their names as I do not want to invade their privacy but then again they are attempting to become more public. Until they ask for promotional assistance I will refrain. They are aspiring models. Either the worlds is overstocked with aspiring models and writers or it is just my lot in life to always meet them.
It is strange though. I happen to meet only good people from whatever source I have happened upon. I am far too skeptical to think that the world is populated with so many good people that there is no synchronicity involved in meeting these good people. Quality, hard working, hungry people, eager people need to be helped. I hope that someday I can do more that offer words of inspiration, even if my words fall short of doing anything more than making someone laugh or just feel better.
I am certain that they will make it because I believe in my friends. There are no accidents. Coincidence is only an undefined purpose, exposed but not understood. I really believe that. I have seen it proven out again and again. It is not a theory as some have called it - as in 'that is an interesting theory'. It has become the axiom of my life.
I am working on Book 1 and as I am only setting out to 'fix' the first hundred pages, maybe I will post all of the changes here. Maybe I won't for copyright reasons. I have to float that idea past my publisher. I have materially altered copyrighted material which then needs a new copyright.
As so many of you that have Book 1 have told me, it would make a very good sci-fi movie. Well believe me that my changes to it are designed to better present this for a film translation. If anyone knows any producer, please hand them a book or tell them to check out my blog. Along that line of thinking I was considering senmding a hard copy of "Specter of Dammerwald" to some hollywood types. It is not a script but damn would it make a hell of a movie in the fantasy genre - my opinion for the most part although it is shared with the people that have read it.
I NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK.
Be at peace,
E
I'm so broke that...I have nothing but friends
There are a few people in this world that can call me anytime of the day and I do not consider it a disturbance. My family of course but also a couple of close friends. A close friend is not only someone you count on to lift your spirits when you are down but also someone that listens and whose advice you cherish. The closest friends exist in the inner sanctum where it is next to impossible for them to ever do anything that really would piss you off enough to ever stop talking to them.
Then there is the best friend. A person is only supposed to have one of those I think. Honestly there can only be one, right. Best is an absolute value.
My best friend is also the inspiration for many of the characters in my books. Without her there would be no Wolf subplot in the series. How's that for a friend? Base a character or two in a fiction series on them.
Since my best friend lives in California there is a time-zone barrier that we deal with. I try very hard never to call her when she would be sleeping; I have awakened her a few times. She wakes me up every now and again but that never seems to matter. I really enjoy our conversations that are usually far too brief. She feels better after talking to me and I feel better after talking to her. People need to commmunicate with others that they care about. We don't talk as often as I would like but whenever we talk it is really just two old friends catching up on things.
I know that some people would think that a 40-something guy having a female best friend that is not quite 30 is at least unusual. Men and women so often have an adversarial relationship, don't they? I have always had a least one or two ladies that are good friends and I rarely consider age when making a friend. My relationship with my friends has always been completely platonic.
I might even agree that it is unusual except that my friendship with her has always been one of those strange things that happen when people click on a certain inexplicable level. I don't know maybe we knew each other in other lifetimes. I think that is possible. If nothing else, reincarnation makes for interesting plotlines in fiction novels. I have no desire for our relationship to ever be anything more than friendship. Why be crass and ruin a good thing. Except that she is female she is not my type anyway. It is her creativity and her spirit that I adore. She has an incredible sense of humor and a keen eye for the ironic.
When we talk it is about the things that only best friends can discuss. The bond that we have is one based on mutual respect. I have counted on her for so long to inspire me that it is hard to think of not knowing her. What if we had never met? I suppose I would have still had a book in print but it would be a very different story without her influence. Considering all else that has happened since, I doubt there would be any other books.
So if you are reading and sometimes enjoying this blog you have her to thank for the fact that I am even writing this. As she doesn't have a working computer for the moment, she is not reading the blogs, or reading them from other people's computers. She has read some of the material I have posted here.
She called me last night, some time after midnight. I had not been sleeping for long. I have been working on a rewrite of the first part of Book 1 with the intention of making a second edition and I only can concentrate when I am alone or at night when the kids are asleep. So, I usually stay up late to write. I always have and she knows that.
I sort of think that she does not want her computer to work just yet. She is changing a lot of things in her life and every change is for the better. The computer represents the complications that she used to have in her life.
She is back in school. She is working two jobs. She is struggling but she has an amazingly good attitude.
It sucks to be poor. She has never not been struggling. There was a time when she lived a little better but that was a while ago and a very strange time in her life as well as mine. It was when I first met her.
It sucks to be poor after having not been poor. I had a pretty good thing going for so long that when it all collapsed it destroyed my personal life. The end result of it all is that I am so broke that even the IRS feels sorry for me.
I would like to be able to help my friend but I have no extra anything. I barely get by on what I make. My kids are great and they can take care of some things around the house and a few of the expenses. The problem is that I went from making close to 6 figures a year at one time to making one fifth of that, all in the period of about a month. I lived off savings and stocks trying to keep things going and of course that incurred significant tax penalties. I did not play by the rule but then I never thought I would not find a full time job for over a year and when I did it would be for about 1/3 of what I used to make.
Of course no one wants to hear any of that. Why? Because a lot of us have unpaid bills, ruined credit, and are one paycheck away from losing a house and being out on the streets. It is expensive to live in this country. Outside of the people that we elect to serve in Washington I have trouble believing that anyone's life is much better than it was ten years ago.
As bad as my life is at times, my best friend has it worse. Her past, what I know of it is amazing. It would make for an awesome book. I have even offered to ghost write it for her, or at least edit it. With respect for her privacy even though many of you do not know who she is, I will not elaborate further except to say she would have every excuse to be angry, mean and vindictive but she has a very kind, sweet disposition.
She is a cat person. You cannot be a mean person and live with a cat. There is no way to fool a cat. A cat chooses whether to live with a human, not the other way around. She has two cats that adore her. That speaks for itself.
E
Ten - Really Eleven Years Ago
It was a fairly ordinary evening, a Sunday in the middle of January as I recall and one that I got home from working at the store fairly early, early enough to go out shopping with Jina. We went to a store called Nobody Beats the Wiz. At the time it had just opened in Meriden, Connecticut and as Jina had done her homework and had shopped all the competition to determine that they were about as good in pricing as anyone else. She had decided that we needed to buy a personal computer.
As hard as it might be to believe I knew next to nothing about PC's. Ten years before I had thought seriously about buying an Apple for the kid (on only had a son then) but I decided that the kid were far too young and personal computers were far too expensive. When it came time to purchase a computer I was still leaning toward the Apple, though. It was Jina that determined that we needed to be a PC based family. Her logic was that there was a lot more software available for PC's. It was a quanity verses quality decision, I think. I am not saying that the computer that we bought wasn't decent quality. I am even sure that if I still had it and had used to run it it would still work.
There is so much irony in the decision to buy the first computer that I do not even want to begin to elaborate. Be it sufficient that had we selected an Apple nothing would have changed all that much. I was born a geek. Geeks like the neat stuff. The only reason I was a geek without a personal computer was that I was a workaholic.
Keep in mind though that it was Jina that coerced me into the wonderful world of computing.
In 1994 $1600 bought a computer and a monitor that was last year's technology. $2400 bought a computer that was this year's technology. As I was about to learn that was pretty much the truth until Intel started to have some realistic competition. We opted for the $1600 computer system.
It was an IBM Consultant PC with a i486SX25 and an 800X600 15" SVGA monitor. I was amazed that I had actually booted into Windows for the first time. I was elated but also mystified. What exactly was a man like me supposed to do with Windows? I spent a few days figuring out how to set up accounts with Prodigy, AOL and Compuserve. I wanted to decide which one was best. At the time I decided that Prodigy was easier for me to use and I cancelled my other accounts. Other than setting up email and using the computer as a glorified word processor, I didn't do much with 'my' computer. Even though it was purchased for the kids, Rob was the only one of them that showed even a passing interest in it. He was 7 at the time.
Everything that I know about DOS I learned from having to repeatedly fix problems that I was having with Windows. I really started learning about computers about a year later, just before my hospitalization and surgery. Some friends came over and taught me lots of things. From there I started reading magazines and tinkering around. I upgraded that computer as much as I possibly could. When I returned home from the hospital I began to seriously shop for a newer computer. That was really when the madness began.
Jina rues the day webought the first computer. Certainly it turned out to have been necessary in some other ways but it also started a lot of things that ended up separating us. I would have never finished a book without the computers I have owned. I am in awe of anyone that can write a book the old fashioned way. I probably could do it but it would take so much longer. I knew me I would have never had the patience to persevere.
Without the first computer I probably would not be doing what I do for a day job. I would have never met some of the most interesting people that I know, one of them is my best friend.
I mention all this because lately I spend a lot of my time teaching people about their new computers and for the most part they know about as much as I did 11 years ago. I hear their confusion and see their frustration and I remember. Telling them it was worse with DOS and Widnows 3.1 does no good. That is ancient history. The computers of today are capable of doing things that I never dreamed were possible in 1994. I tell them that they should never limit the potential of maximizing the utility of a personal computer. Even if editing a home movie or even writing a book is not in their immediate plans, limiting the scope of the possibilities will only lead to frustration.
Having said that, this is still the advice I have always given. Don't spend too much money on a first computer. By the time you learn how to use the computer you will want something a lot more powerful that will cost a lot more money. If you buy close to the cutting edge you are paying too high a premium for power that you probably benefit from. If you are not going to use the power of the high end machines, why watse the money?
Purchase enough power to do what you have to do with a computer for the time frame that you estimate you will use a computer before upgrading or replacing it. Consider how soon you will upgrade and factor in those costs against getting a slightly more powerful machine. Usually a little more power or more features is a lot less expense than one might think and upgrading relatively soon after a purchase is often more expensive than just buying it in a system in the first place. Computer manufacturers pay a lot less for the parts they use than you or I could.
Realize that if and when the computer bug bites you, the fever will continue along the 'more and more powerful' course for some time. The end of the quest seems to be related to the diminishing of funds, the point of having overcomplicated life to the point that you no longer have any time to do anything new with a computer or, in a few cases, having caught up with technology to the point that you are actually building your own machines becasue you can't wait for the manufacturers to come out with the next greatest thing.
I am still learning, of course but I am supposedly The Expert. At some point along the way I realized that people were asking me questions about computer instead of the other way around. I don't pretend to know everything. No one knows everything. Being expert means that you know where to go to look for the answers that you don't know.
I have not bought a manufactured computer in years. I have built everything that I now use and my kids computers except for Amanda's laptop and her desktop computers which were incredible deals on closeouts. I have build machines for friends. For most people it is too expensive to build computers versus buying something off the shelf. I build computers because I like tinkering. A few people ask me to build something for them because they want a certain type of computer for a certain use. Most manufacturers don't cater to that market at all. In fact, despite their claims of personalizing a PC, I will say that none of them really do. It is a numbers game. There are few people that really want a specific set of features and components, geeks like me. The largest manufacturers understand that makreting toward someone like me is a lost cause. I am a serious enough geek to derrive some pleasure from throwing stuff into a box and firing it up, giving life to a cybernetic friend.
Buying a manufacturered computer is just not the same thing.
E
Friends
I have several friends, close and personal friends but not the sort that would want me to mention them here. I have a few other friends that are engaged in modeling or they aspire to be in the entertainment field. They are into publicity and getting their name publicly recognized. I have even offered to aid in their efforts if anything I could do would benefit them.
I am never sure what my friends are up to or their momentary desires. I merely want for them to succeed and be happy. I sort of think that many will accomplish that anyway but then again who knows these days?
I do not name my friends as that to me is an invasion of privacy. Yet a know a couple of them want the exposure. so even though they have not told me to do so I feel I could promote them. For the immediate I will refrain. Until they tell me it is okay I will not subject them to the abuse and scrutiny that could follow it.
I am working on a rewrite of Book 1. Amazingly the orignal is pretty clean just needing a tweak here and there. I deleted some useless narrative and such. I think it will be better when I am done.
Take care my friends, all 40 of you that read the blog.
E
Resistance
I am fighting a writer's basic urge, fighting the the almost irresistable need to edit something that is already in print. The work could certainly benefit from it. I knew that eventually I would succumb to the temptation and just do it. That is probably why I have not looked at it for a couple of years.
I know there are some remaining typos that even in the second edition version of Book 1 we have missed. I just found some in the posting of Seawall to this blog. A couple of sentence fragments could be rewritten. I know the benefit it would serve. Still, sometimes I think that there is a historical need to maintain the editorial integrity of the original text of a body of work.
It is not that I expect that at some point in the future someone may discover the writings of a heretofore obscure sci-fi/fantasy writer from the early 21st Century. It is more like it is a contract with the original base of readers, not to change something once it is in print. It is the reason that I defended the original first edition version that includes the since omitted 56 pages of narrative.
My daughter Amanda reminded me today that once upon a time in 2001 there was a hard copy print out of Book 1 that I had cut to 6X9 and comb-bound at Kinkos (at a cost $34.95). I was going to have two copies comb-bound to be sent to The Library of Congress. That was immediately before my publisher finally decided to enter into round upon round of edits, revisions and several volleys of knit picking one another's suggested changes.
I know what happened to the Kinko's version of Book 1. Jina sent it to one of her friends in hopes that her husband might be interested in investing in the project. He still has it (I hope). Perhaps he is waiting or hoping that the book becomes famous so that it may be worth something - as an original manuscript.
I doubt that Jina's friend's husband even bothered to read the book. I know juan very well. I built a couple of computers for him. He is a good guy just thast he is very busy and would have never had the time to read the book. So I figure that Amanda, an editor named Bob and Jack my publisher are perhaps the only ones that ever read that version. However, Bob, Jack and I have read so many of the subsequent versions that I have forgotten what distinguisted one from another except for the more or less minor edits. Amanda did not read any other version until the first edition that is in print and she read that only recently.
I mention these facts as I find them curiously relevant. In the matter of the 56 pages or narrative a good deal of that was added after I had printed out the kinko's version of Book 1. This tends to support my contention that those 56 pages and a good deal of the first hundred pages were over-edited to the point that the plot advancement was adversely affected. Sometimes when you are so close to a project you lose objectivity. That is a very good reason for having other people read something and give their opinions.
The only reason I could support the changes to the text of Book 1 was the clarification of the plot and the overall purpose of the first half of Book 1. It makes it easier for the reader to understand what still is a very complicated introductory experience to a highly intricate plot that spans 6 books. Since the second edition is not yet in print I am seriously considering revising it. I know there are a couple of things I have found in Book 2 that I would like to address as well. It might actually benefit the continuity of the whole body of work that now spans two series, none books in all) for me to revisit the beginning two installments and adjust for whatever is to come. Somehow having finished the later works always gives a new outlook and focus to the introduction.
I have also written a prequel to the fantasy plotline that is included in the first and second series. As the real storyline of the fantasy plot does not begin until Book 2 the existence of The Specter of Dammerwald does not impact Book 1. The base material from which The Specter book was written existed even before I wrote the material that is in Book 2. I doubt there are substanative changes needed but there could be some continuity issues.
The downside of doing such material alterations, regardless the time to make such an effort is that I resist excessive revision. I may actually add in too much detail early on and forego the necessity of a reader to complete the entire series in order to obatin the gist of the message. I might destroy the magic of discovery that happens as a writer is exploring the provinces of a fabricated world. I think the reader can almost empathize with the writer's wonder at the mental discovery of a new world. The challenge therefore is resistance to say too much; correct what must be corrected and move on.
I am not certain how long it will take me to revise Books 1 and 2. I am certain it will subsequently necessity review of all six of the first books. Then I must get back to revising book 7 - before deciding the concentrate on "In The Way of Humanity" that was what I was doing.
I am chuckling. My publisher is going to think I have lost my mind yet again. It is a matter of artistic integrity. A writer wants a book to be perfect. Knowing that even the most concerted effort will fall shy of the goal, a writer wants the book to be readable without the unnecessary distraction or typos, wrong words and grammatical errors. The resistance that I need to maintain should be limited to those things but perhaps should include any glaring inconsistencies between what I wrote ten years ago and what there of of the remaining storyline that was carried foreward into my more recent writings.
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