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The Confusion 'Principal'

It happened so long ago that I barely ever think about it anymore. Why should I? The events do not matter as much as the outcome. Some say that events in life very often define us or at least set us in a particular direction. Yet there was no possible purpose to the event.

Simply put, I rebelled.

There, I have said it. It was much more difficult to do than to say, I assure you. I was reared in the strict, Baptist ways. I had regular dosages of Sunday school and sermons, song fests and Wednesday prayer meetings. I won't debate the relative merits of such an upbringing but it served to confuse and confound my eventual integration into society. Maybe that was the purpose all along.

I am a firm believer that if it were not for the God-fearing souls of the world, the world would be a much worse place to live. I have never disputed my overall belief that there is reason and direction to the creation of the world. I am not an atheist. I just have had issues with organized religion. I believe in God; I don't believe in religion.

It's a long story how I got to be as I am. So settle in if you want to hear it and don't say I didn't warn you. At least some of it is interesting, or so I have been told.

When I was very young I liked to pretend that I was a soldier fighting in World War II. My favorite TV show at the time was 'Combat!' Whether I was at school on the playground or in the wooded area behind my house, I was always on some special, super-secret mission. It is ironic that some of that playing helped me out of a few jams later on in real life.

My dream was attending the Air Force Academy. I thought that the best way for me to achieve that goal was going away from home to a military school. So upon completion of eighth grade at Miami View Elementary School in South Charleston, Ohio, I enrolled in the Greenbriar Military School of Lewisburg, West Virginia.

It was my first time away from home and for the first several weeks that I was there I was very, very homesick. Adapting to life at the military school was very difficult for me. I did very well in school, though and I didn't mind following orders or performing drills. It was just that I was greatly disillusioned with military life. I hated the rigid structure. I also didn't care for some of the things that other students were doing. You see most kids are in military school as punishment. I was one of the weird kids that asked to be there.

For whatever reason, I convinced my parents to let me return home. Shortly before Thanksgiving, I transferred back to a public high school. My mother and I had a conference with Mr. Irvine at Shawnee High School in Springfield, Ohio. He adjusted my class schedule as best he could around the courses I had at Greenbriar. Some of the classes were not offered, so I had to take other courses instead. As a result, I ended up taking some classes with upperclassmen. Some of them were surprised when they eventually learned that I was a freshman.

At the conclusion of our conference with Mr. Irvine he shook my hand and said, “Welcome aboard, Bill.” I didn't bother correcting him and I don't think my mother even noticed it. I was nervous and excited at the same time. I didn't want to create any conflicts, at least not from the outset.

My first day riding the bus, I was the geek with the ‘buzz’ haircut that everyone
stared at. My mother promised me that it was my imagination. The next day I paid particular attention. Not only were they staring at me they were also whispering about me.

I hated the first couple of weeks of adjusting to the classes and trying not to feel too odd and out of place. I was hopelessly out of step or behind. In other ways I was ahead of everyone else. It was only in my English class that I was a just about where I had been at Greenbriar.

From the first day that I was in Mrs. Hibbett's English class, she mispronounced my name. She insisted that I should be called 'L-John' instead of 'L-Gun'. I had always been called 'L-Gun'. Still if she wanted to call me 'L-John' who was I to correct her, except that it was my name and it irritated me every time she called on me. She had ignored the first couple of times when I had corrected her. She persisted. I didn't resist at first.

To that point in life I was a rather quiet, shy person. I listened a lot. I was always watching. I tried to never make trouble for myself or anyone else. One day all that ended.

I don't know what happened. Maybe it was that my voice had begun to deepen and hair had begun to replace the fuzz of youth in my private places. I ignored Mrs. Hibbett calling 'L-John' to do board work. It was a silent protest and despite her repeating request, I was sitting there staring into space, completely ignoring her and trying not to notice that every eye in the classroom was trained upon me.

She got up from her desk, and walked over to my side of the room. We were seated alphabetically, of course and so I was pretty much at the back of the room and furthest from the door. Mrs. Hibbett walked right up to my desk and reiterated that she wanted someone named 'L-John' to do board work.

"You're talking to me?"

"Who else would I be talking to, 'L-John'?"

"That's the problem. My name is 'L-Gun' not 'L-John'."

"It is pronounced 'L-John'," she insisted.

"It is my name and I can pronounce it any way I damned well want to!"

Of course she sent me to the office. I was sitting in the outer office awaiting a conference with Mr. Irvine when he walked by and said, "Bill, what brings you down here?"

"Mrs. Hibbett sent me to see you."

"Come in, then."

I got up and followed him into his office and closed the door behind me.

"Have a seat," Mr. Irvine said as he offered me a jaw breaker from a jar that he kept on his desk. "Okay tell me the story."

"Mrs. Hibbett has been mispronouncing my name ever since the first day I was in her class."

"How do ya mispronounce Bill?"

"Well, that's just it. My name is Elgon."

"It is?"

"Yes sir. I think you got Bill from my last name being first on my transcript from Military School."

"Oh, yeah that must be how that happened. Well it is your name. I suppose you can pronounce it 'Mike' if you wanted to."

"Well, that is sort of what I told her."

"That is silly. Why would she send you down here over that?"

"It was probably the way I said it."

"What exactly did you say?"

"I told her I could pronounce my name any way I damned well wanted to."

"Oh, well that would matter," he said. "It is not good to swear at a teacher."

"I know that. I usually don't swear. It just made me very mad that she refuses to say my name the way I want it to be pronounced."

"Well, I want you to apologize to her for swearing. As for the name thing, well I have to agree with you on that one."

He hurriedly wrote out a hall pass and told me to return to class and refrain from using harsh language in the future.

When I returned to Mrs. Hibbett's classroom, every eye was again upon me.

"Well?" she asked.

"Mr. Irvine said that I am to apologize to you for the language I used."

"And…"

"I'm sorry for that but he said it is my name and I can expect it to be pronounced any way I want it to."

I could see her face redden whether it was from embarrassment or rage I was not sure.

"Well from now on I will call you Mr. Williams. That is how you pronounce your last name, isn't it?"

"Yes ma'am."

I was grateful that at that moment the bell rang. Unfortunately she wanted me to stay after for a bit after class.

When everyone had left the room, she closed the door.

"What is your problem with me? Really?"

"I have no problem with you. Just you refused to pronounce my name the way I and used to and when I corrected you on it you ignored me."

"Well, I was unaware that you had attempted…"

"Look, I don't mean anything by it. I was not in the mood today. I am sorry that I swore at you. I won't do that again."

"You go on to your class."

posted by Unknown @ 10:18 PM